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Darynda Jones: Snarky Sayings and Grim (Reaper) Secrets

Darynda Jones is giving one reader who leaves a comment below, here or at KissAndThrill.com, an ARC — yes that’s right — an ADVANCE READER’s COPY of her book number 8!  

Eighth Grave After Dark isn’t out until May, and though you might have to wait a bit to get the ARC, you’ll be in the know with reviewers across the country who get the book months in advance!   So leave us your best bit of snark, or tell us why you love Darynda, or why you want to read her book, and we’ll let you know who won next week. 

And don’t forget to click on the View Original link at the bottom of this post to see the VIDEO interview with Darynda! 

UPDATE: The contest is now closed. Congratulations to Nymerias, winner of Darynda Jone’s ARC for Eighth Grave After Dark. Please contact us within ten days to collect your prize.

DIANA BELCHASE

Darynda Jones has a secret. On paper, her alter ego Charley Davidson is snarky, sex-mad, able to kick paranormal foes DJONES001-2in their paranormal behinds. In real life, Darynda is probably one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met. She has a humble, self-deprecating humor, she’ll tell you all her writing secrets as if they don’t amount to much, and she’s more likely to talk about her kids than her books.

Is it no wonder I love this gal?

Here are some things you might not know about her:

*Awards: Darynda has won 11 awards, including the Daphne du Maurier, the RITA, the Bookie Award (three times!), 2 HOLT Medallions, the Golden Heart, the GOTCHA, The PASIC, and the Rebeca (LERA).

*Genre: Darynda has written in a ton of genres, even though they’re not all published, including historical!

*Education: She’s a Summa cum Laude graduate and has a BA in Sign Language…

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Word Wars! Twelve Shades of Midnight Authors Share Their Most (& Least) Favorite Things

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Twelve Shades of Midnight, an anthology of 12 all new paranormal novellas is out today! My novella, Midnight Sun, is included and I’m thrilled to be part of this amazing lineup of authors for my first foray into the paranormal.

I’ve had a blast working with the other authors in the making of this anthology! From brainstorming titles to coming up with Easter eggs hidden in the stories, the messages between the members of the group have been hilarious. How lucky am I to be in this amazing anthology?

Twelve Shades of Midnight

The stroke of midnight ushers in many things. From hijinks and mischief to danger and evil, romance is the magic that binds these paranormal novellas together. Join 12 bestselling and award winning authors as they explore the different shades of midnight in exclusive, never-before-released stories.

Liliana Hart – THE WITCH NEXT DOOR
Darynda Jones – A LOVELY DROP
Shea Berkley – DARK SECRETS: STONE COLD DEAD
Dakota Cassidy – WITCHED AT BIRTH
Claire Cavanaugh – MIDNIGHT RENEGADE
Rachel Grant – MIDNIGHT SUN
Trish McCallan – SPIRIT WOODS
Angi Morgan – BODYGUARDS IN HEELS: HIT & RUN HALLIE
Robin Perini – NIGHT OF THE JAGUAR
Robyn Peterman – SWITCHING HOUR
Ann Voss Peterson – THE SCHOOL
Jenn Stark – GETTING WILDE

Watch the Twelve Shades trailer: Facebook | YouTube

We’re celebrating the launch tomorrow with a Facebook party with lots of games and prizes. This is your opportunity to find out what I mean when I say how funny these authors are! Click on the image to RSVP.

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Amazon | iBooks | Kobo | Barnes & Noble

Because I love exploring the similarities and differences in the answers, I subjected the Twelve Shades of Midnight authors to the Inside the Actors Studio quiz.

What is your favorite word?

Dakota: Serendipitous Robyn: Yes
Angi: Conundrum Rachel: Necropolis
Shea: I’m a writer. It’s nearly impossible to whittle it down to one…but I do love my name being said by someone who loves me. Jenn: Kabillion. Except that’s not a word I don’t think.
Robin: Cacophony, just because it sounds cool. Claire: Happy
Ann: Fabulous Liliana: Dude

What is your least favorite word?

Dakota: Can’t Robyn: No
Angi: Procrastinate Rachel: Racial and homophobic slurs
Shea: Snot. It’s just one of those words that sounds gross and refers to something gross. Jenn: Disappointed
Robin: Moist…just ’cause, well, yuck. Claire: Anything prejudicial
Ann: Ensconce Liliana: Moist

What turns you on?

Dakota: Serenity Robyn: Humor and a nice ass
Angi: Being shown love Rachel: Captain America
Shea: Kisses on my neck…soft, slow kisses. (sigh) Jenn: The eyes have it: If a glance is intentional, intense and interested (from the right guy), I’m in.
Robin: Slow dancing and swaying to the music Claire: Eagerness and humor. Cleaning my house doesn’t hurt either!
Ann: Coffee Liliana: Brains, baby. Followed closely by the ability to make me laugh like crazy.

What turns you off?

Dakota: Whiners Robyn: Negativity and lack of humility
Angi: Talk Talk Talk and More Talk Rachel: Rudeness
Shea: Hypocrisy and arrogance. They often go hand in hand except the person demonstrating these qualities rarely knows they’re doing them. Jenn: Abuse of any sort–mental, verbal, physical–no matter the scale. If you don’t choose your adversaries nobly, you suck.
Robin: Unkindness  Claire: Stress
Ann: Running out of coffee Liliana: Bad hygiene

What sound or noise do you love?

Dakota: Laughter Robyn: My kids laughter
Angi: Ocean waves and puppies playing Rachel: My children’s laughter
Shea: A drumline. It’s all about the beat, baby! Jenn: The gentle crash of ocean waves
Robin: A baby’s laugh Claire: My granddaughter’s magical laughter
Ann: Wind chimes Liliana: Rain and thunderstorms

What sound or noise do you hate?

Dakota: Sloppy eaters Robyn: My alarm clock
Angi: Leaf blowers Rachel: My husband’s alarm clock
Shea: My cat hacking up a hairball. Why is it always in the middle of the night? And does he clean up his mess? Nooo. He tries to bury it in the carpet, and I’m the one who’s got to clean up the nastiness he leaves behind. Jenn: My cat demanding breakfast at 4:15 a.m. Every. Morning.
Robin: Telephone ring Claire: A dentist’s drill
Ann: My alarm clock Liliana: Teeth scraping against a fork

What is your favorite curse word?

Dakota: Dicknuckle Robyn: Fuck
Angi: Damn Rachel: Fuck
Shea: Arse, but only when British people say it. It makes me giggle. Jenn: Fuck. Such a multitasker.
Robin: I don’t have one. Claire: Damn, and any variation thereof
Ann: Fuck. Really, so versatile! Liliana: Douchecanoe

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Dakota: Supermodeling Robyn: Chef
Angi: Photography Rachel: Travel writer who gets paid to go everywhere on vacation (Rick Steves, I want your job)
Shea: A falconer. Hunting with a bird would be fun. Jenn: Artifact Hunter
Robin: CIA Analyst, because I think it would be fascinating, and it would bring me that much closer to the books I write. Claire: FBI agent in my dreams. Travel writer as a possible reality.
Ann: Horse trainer Liliana: Professional shoe shopper and cheese fry eater

What profession would you not like to do?

Dakota: Porta Potty maintenance Robyn: Computer programmer
Angi: Anything with math Rachel: Wearing a hot dog costume and passing out flyers.
Shea: Sewage worker. Does anyone actually want to be a sewage worker? Jenn: Social worker. My heart would break or I’d want to seriously beat up people every day.
Robin: Sewer Maintenance. Self explanatory 🙂 Claire: Anything involving strange smells. I have a weak stomach.
Ann: School teacher, way too tough Liliana: Anything dealing with poop

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Dakota: “Your castle with a turret, high on a hill, with all your family members and pets inside is to the right.. :).” Robyn: “It was a close one, but I was owed some favors. I was in the middle of a Scrabble tournament before you arrived, would you like to join me?”
Angi: “Welcome home.” Rachel: “I’ve decided to make an exception for you.”
Shea: “It’s about time you got here. You did good. There’s an all you can eat chocolate section next to the sushi bar and steaks grilling on the barbeque. And the mashed potatoes are so creamy…and fully loaded.” (yeah, the way to my heart is to feed me comfort food) Jenn: “Good job.”
Robin: “There really is a reason for everything, and if you’ll come with me, I’ll explain it all.” Claire: “You really gave your guardian angel a work out, but I’m glad to see you made it, Claire.”
Ann: “Everyone you love is here or on their way… eventually.” Liliana: “Your family and friends are waiting for you. And there’s an all-you-can-eat buffet.”

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And the winners from last week’s post are:

Kieran Kramer won Suzanne and Melanie Brockmann’s Night Sky

and Kim K. won Heather Ashby’s Never Forget.

Congratulations, ladies! Please use our contact page to claim your prize.

Thanks to everyone who commented!  ~ Sharon

Snarky Winners and GH Nods

We here at Kiss and Thrill would like to take a teensy moment to congratulate 2 of our own: Sharon Wray and Krista Hall!

Sharon Wray

Sharon Wray

Sharon and Krista have finaled in the Romantic Suspense genre of the uber-prestigious 2013 RWA Golden Heart® writing contest! Sharon is actually a double-finalist. Yes, thank you, we think she’s awesome too! Let’s hear the gossip:

How many Golden Heart® nominations have you received over the years? SHARON: This year the two finals are numbers four and five. (It seems so strange to write that.) KRISTA: I have three GH noms as Krista Reynolds: 2007 Single Title for Enemy Hearts, 2011 RS for Borderlands, and 2013 for Broken PlacesI plan to use Krista Hall as my writing name.

And the manuscript name?  SHARON: The title entries were Juliet’s Rogue and Rogue’s Redemption. KRISTA: Broken Places.

Krista 2012

Krista Hall

Can you give us a ‘peek’ into the exact moment you got ‘the call’? SHARON:  The entire family was on day 11 of the flu. I have to admit I was waiting/hoping for a call, but when the phone rang I was in the middle of taking my daughter’s temperature while making another cup of tea. I tried to answer as calmly as I could but my hand shook so much I spilled my tea on the counter, then I started coughing. Luckily, Leslie Kelly (the RWA Board Member who called) was really sweet about it. But when she told me I was a double finalist, I started to cry. Learning that two of my manuscripts (which combined had been rejected close to a hundred times) were finalists sent me over the emotional edge. Again, Leslie was really nice but I ended the phone call as quickly as I could so she wouldn’t think I was out of my mind. 

KRISTA: The Call came while I was in the shower. I never heard the phone ring–not the landline, nor my cell. I got dressed and headed to work, which means I walked downstairs to my office/laundry room. I was trying to forget that RWA would be announcing the nominees that morning, but my work emails weren’t keeping my mind on, well, work. Since it was Tuesday, I clicked over to our Kiss and Thrill loop saw that Sharon had two nominations. Yay, Sharon! I figured this wasn’t my year for a GH nomination. Again. I posted my snarky slogan on the super hilarious blog post you and Darynda Jones wrote and felt cheered up enough to go back to my work emails. A few minutes later, I decided to check my phone for messages. The first message was from an 817 number. Thought it was probably another poll or canned political message. It was Diane Kelly! With good news! I called her back–it wouldn’t feel real until I talked to her 🙂  (QUICK PLUG: Diane Kelly is our guest next Tues!)

 Will you be attending the RWA Awards at the Convention this July? SHARON: I am going to Atlanta! Just not sure yet who’s watching the kids or how I’m going to get there or how I’m going to pay for it. (Can the hotel sleep eight women in one room?)  But I am definitely going! KRISTA: I don’t know if I’m going to Atlanta. Still trying to decide.

 Where are you in the process of getting your work published? SHARON: I am in the process of revising Juliet’s Rogue for my agent. Once it’s done and we both love it, then it will go out on submission with all sorts of praying and crossing of fingers. KRISTA: I’m finalizing edits on Broken Places while Bob Mayer’s voice is still in my head. WRW hosted him for a 2 day workshop on Saturday and Sunday. After 10 hours of Bob Mayer, he sticks in your head like super glue! [I DON’T GET IT?] [REALLY? WHY?] [WHAT’S THE PAYOFF FOR THE READER?] It’s a good thing, right? Then I plan to query agents. But mostly, I’m trying to stay focused on the writing. I have the last third of Broken Places’ sequel to finish and another one to start. My goal is to have my trilogy completed by the end of the year.

When you stand at the podium and accept the coveted Golden Heart® AWARD, what secret sign will you give K&T readers as code that you just said ‘hi.’ SHARON: I will tuck a strand of hair behind my ear–casually and with a cryptic smile, of course! KRISTA: I’ll use a code word: “WORKSHOP.” 🙂

Congratulations again, Sharon and Krista, best of luck!

AND NOW: THE WINNER OF THE SNARKY T-SHIRT SAYING CONTEST…freefireworks

Surprise! Darynda Jones could not narrow it down to 1 winner, so we have 5 winners and a GRAND PRIZE WINNER! Each of you has 10 days to respond and claim the Darynda Jones novel of your choice. (Please use the Contact Us tab at the top and let us know how to send it to you.)

SNARKY SAYING WINNERS:

  • LAURA BAIRD: Your Choice, but personally, I’d go for the light.
  • ANGELA TRENHOLM: My nagging is a sign I still care. My silence is a sign that I’m plotting your death.
  • STACY SCUDDER: No, I can’t go to the gym. I’m in the fitness protection program.
  • MICHELLE GORE: If this coffee were a person, I’d get naked and make love to it.
  • RACHEL KROGEN: Be nice to your sister. One day you may need an alibi.

AND OUR GRAND PRIZE WINNER: (pay attn winners, it involves you too!)

JENNIFER BRAY-WEBER: Never let someone drive you crazy. It’s nearby and the walk is good for you.

Congratulations, Jenn! Not only do you win your Darynda Jones book-of-choice, but also a $25 Amazon gift card AND Darynda wants to buy each of the winners above one of YOUR NOVELS!

Each of the 5 winners: please choose the Jennifer Bray-Weber book of choice too! Titles and descriptions can be found at

http://www.jbrayweber.com/jennifers-books

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN to Laura, Angela, Stacy, Michelle, Rachel and Jenn!

Next Tuesday, April 2nd, in honor of (groan) TAX MONTH Diana Belchase welcomes romance writer and CPA, Diane Kelly!small_MG_5109ars2-300x200

Diane Kelly writes romantic mysteries featuring feisty heroines, quirky sidekicks, and sexy leading men, with humor that leaves readers laughing out loud.

Diane’s manuscript for Death, Taxes, and a French Manicure won the Romance Writers of America’s prestigious Golden Heart award. Her manuscripts have received more than two dozen RWA chapter awards as well. Diane’s fiction, tax, and humor pieces have appeared in True Love Magazine, Writer’s Digest Yearbook, Romance Writers Report, Byline Magazine, and various other publications. See you all then!

DARYNDA JONES: Snarky T-Shirt Saying CONTEST!

DARYNDA_JONES   That’s right, readers! Our guest blogger today is…(deep inhale, preparing to gush) the talented, funny, prolific, creative, generous, GH and RITA Award winning, best-selling author DARYNDA JONES. You know, of the super successful Charley Davidson series– the Grim Reaper who moonlights as a coffee-addicted PI and has ATTITUDE up to here? (Look up, way up!)

If you’ve read any of her books in the series you know Darynda begins each chapter with a hilariously snarky phrase–the kind you see on a bumper sticker or T-Shirt. The kind that makes you laugh out loud (for real, not LOL.) I’m delighted to welcome her today and extend her fun contest to you and all your friends- spread the word!

Write your favorite snarky saying in our comments section below. Darynda will pick her favorite one on Thursday and the winner gets a Darynda Jones novel of choice. (P.S.: She also writes a wicked-funny YA series, see details below.) Without taking up another inch of precious blog space- here’s Darynda Jones:

Avail 7/9/13

Avail 7/9/13

   Thank you to everyone at Kiss and Thrill for having me today! As a connoisseur of snarky T-shirt sayings, I thought it would be fun to list my favorites, because nothing brings a smile to the face like snark.

    I fell so in love with Julia’s Bridgerton series, and I thought it so clever that she opened each chapter with a little quip from Lady Whistledown. Then I picked up the Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi’s Spiderwick series and they did something very similar. Instead of a title for each chapter as many children’s books have, they opened with a little preview of what was about to happen, something like, ‘Chapter One: In Which More than a Cat Goes Missing.’

   I’m sure there are other authors who do this, but I fell in love with that type of subtle foreshadowing and wanted to do something similar. Only I was writing about a snarky grim reaper with trouble for a middle name. How could I incorporate that kind of fun with something that reflected Charley’s personality? Snarky T-shirts of course. And the chapter headings were born.

First-Grave-on-the-Right-tn  So here is a list of some favorites from the Charley series. In case you are wondering, most of them really and truly are T-shirt and bumper sticker-type quotes. I make up a few here and there, but not many. Can you guess which two out of this list I made up?

  • Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  • If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
  • Is it sexy in here or is it just me?
  • Upon the advice of my attorney, my shirt bears no message at this time
  • Some girls wear Prada. Some girls wear Glock 17 short recoil spring-loaded semi-automatic pistols with a loaded chamber indicator and a non-slip grip.
  • Where am I going and what am I doing in this hand basket?
  • You know those bad things that happen to good people?  I’m that. 
  • Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don’t. So either way…
  • If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.
  • Some days you’re the cat. Some days you’re the brand new, suede leather Barcalounger.
  • Only two things in life are certain. Guess which one I am.
  • Welcome back. I see the assassins have failed.
  • Hi. I’m Trouble. I heard you were looking for me.
  • Two drinks away from girl-on-girl action.
  • When life hands you lemons say, “Lemons? What else have you got?”
  • It puts the lotion in the basket.
  • I love children, but I don’t think I can eat a whole one.
  • Jenius
  • ADD.  A lifetime of distractions.
  • Sarcasm.  Only one of the services offered.
  • When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
  • I may not look like much, but I’m an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

   And, yes, that is a very small sampling. The collection goes on for pages and pages. So, have you seen any great sayings lately you’d love to have on a T-shirt? One caveat: Anything you say can and will be used against you. And quite possibly in my next book.

Thanks again!  ~D~

daryndaINFO AND LINKS:

www.DaryndaJones.com www.cafepress.com/daryndajones www.facebook.com/darynda.jones.official

Check out Darynda’s YA series: Death and the Girl Next Door and Death, Doom and Detention

Okay Readers, I’ll list a few of mine and then you’re up! 🙂

    • I know the Voices in my Head Aren’t Real, But They Sure Have Some Good Ideas
    • Yet, Despite the Look on My Face You’re Still Talking
    • I’m Not Shy, I’m Holding Back My Awesomeness So I Don’t Intimidate You
    • I’m jealous of Me Too
    • You say I’m a B**ch Like it’s A Bad Thing
    • I’m Not Mean, You’re Just a Sissy
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