DARYNDA JONES: Snarky T-Shirt Saying CONTEST!
Posted by Sarah Andre
That’s right, readers! Our guest blogger today is…(deep inhale, preparing to gush) the talented, funny, prolific, creative, generous, GH and RITA Award winning, best-selling author DARYNDA JONES. You know, of the super successful Charley Davidson series– the Grim Reaper who moonlights as a coffee-addicted PI and has ATTITUDE up to here? (Look up, way up!)
If you’ve read any of her books in the series you know Darynda begins each chapter with a hilariously snarky phrase–the kind you see on a bumper sticker or T-Shirt. The kind that makes you laugh out loud (for real, not LOL.) I’m delighted to welcome her today and extend her fun contest to you and all your friends- spread the word!
Write your favorite snarky saying in our comments section below. Darynda will pick her favorite one on Thursday and the winner gets a Darynda Jones novel of choice. (P.S.: She also writes a wicked-funny YA series, see details below.) Without taking up another inch of precious blog space- here’s Darynda Jones:
Thank you to everyone at Kiss and Thrill for having me today! As a connoisseur of snarky T-shirt sayings, I thought it would be fun to list my favorites, because nothing brings a smile to the face like snark.
I fell so in love with Julia’s Bridgerton series, and I thought it so clever that she opened each chapter with a little quip from Lady Whistledown. Then I picked up the Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi’s Spiderwick series and they did something very similar. Instead of a title for each chapter as many children’s books have, they opened with a little preview of what was about to happen, something like, ‘Chapter One: In Which More than a Cat Goes Missing.’
I’m sure there are other authors who do this, but I fell in love with that type of subtle foreshadowing and wanted to do something similar. Only I was writing about a snarky grim reaper with trouble for a middle name. How could I incorporate that kind of fun with something that reflected Charley’s personality? Snarky T-shirts of course. And the chapter headings were born.
So here is a list of some favorites from the Charley series. In case you are wondering, most of them really and truly are T-shirt and bumper sticker-type quotes. I make up a few here and there, but not many. Can you guess which two out of this list I made up?
- Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble.
- What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
- Is it sexy in here or is it just me?
- Upon the advice of my attorney, my shirt bears no message at this time
- Some girls wear Prada. Some girls wear Glock 17 short recoil spring-loaded semi-automatic pistols with a loaded chamber indicator and a non-slip grip.
- Where am I going and what am I doing in this hand basket?
- You know those bad things that happen to good people? I’m that.
- Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don’t. So either way…
- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.
- Some days you’re the cat. Some days you’re the brand new, suede leather Barcalounger.
- Only two things in life are certain. Guess which one I am.
- Welcome back. I see the assassins have failed.
- Hi. I’m Trouble. I heard you were looking for me.
- Two drinks away from girl-on-girl action.
- When life hands you lemons say, “Lemons? What else have you got?”
- It puts the lotion in the basket.
- I love children, but I don’t think I can eat a whole one.
- ADD. A lifetime of distractions.
- Sarcasm. Only one of the services offered.
- When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
- I may not look like much, but I’m an expert at pretending to be a ninja.
And, yes, that is a very small sampling. The collection goes on for pages and pages. So, have you seen any great sayings lately you’d love to have on a T-shirt? One caveat: Anything you say can and will be used against you. And quite possibly in my next book.
Thanks again! ~D~
Check out Darynda’s YA series: Death and the Girl Next Door and Death, Doom and Detention
Okay Readers, I’ll list a few of mine and then you’re up! 🙂
I know the Voices in my Head Aren’t Real, But They Sure Have Some Good Ideas
Yet, Despite the Look on My Face You’re Still Talking
I’m Not Shy, I’m Holding Back My Awesomeness So I Don’t Intimidate You
I’m jealous of Me Too
You say I’m a B**ch Like it’s A Bad Thing
I’m Not Mean, You’re Just a Sissy
About Sarah AndreRomantic Suspense That Keeps You Up All Night! I live in sunny FL, love daydreaming, reading and chocolate. I write in the wee hours of the morning before my helpless hubby and 2 male Pomeranian pups awaken with their demands. :) My debut LOCKED, LOADED and LYING is available now.
Posted on March 26, 2013, in Author Spotlight, Guest blog, Sarah Andre, Uncategorized and tagged Charley Davidson series, Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Suspense, Snarky T-Shirt Saying Contest. Bookmark the permalink. 201 Comments.